Do yourself a favor and find your posse.
Strength is often times found in quality, not necessarily quantity.
I own Brainchild Studios, a virtual digital content marketing and website creation agency. Since we work virtually, daily appearance is literally one of the very last things that we need to worry about, allowing our team members to focus on their brains and their skills instead of their wardrobe and their foundation and I firmly believe in this mindset for all relationships in life. It's not about what you look like, it's about what's in your head, your heart, and the fact that you show up.
As a virtual agency, communication is key and video conferencing is a huge asset, allowing us to still have a face-to-face connection, even though it’s through a screen. I have weekly one-on-ones with my team members, we do group chats through video, so people can work from Paris, their couch, or outside the door of a napping child. It doesn't matter what state of mayhem you may be in, we ask that you show up and you're ready to get shit done. We hop on Zoom conferences because we want to see each other's faces-faces that we want to see when you're made up or freshly rolled out of bed, when you just got back from a half-assed run or when you're wrapped up in a giant parka because you're freezing.
But, that’s how we do. Because ideas bloom, concepts become new products, and movements happen when people's hearts are in the right place, they're given the support to challenge their intellectual capacity, and they're held accountable. It doesn't matter that they're unshowered, in yoga pants, braless, eating fruit snacks. It's our no-makeup tribe and it's efficient. (Also, jealous about the fruit snacks part.)
Because here’s the thing: women are just as badass in sweatpants and a makeup-free face as we are in heels and lipstick.
And also, in the wise words of Dr. Suess, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Quick storytime: last year I was a guest on my friend Lori Highby's podcast, Social Capital. I was going to do the podcast remotely (for all of the above reasons), but we were having technical difficulties (because no matter what we do that ALWAYS happens), so I sucked it up and ran over to her office quick. Now mind you, Lori and I are tight, so it was totally cool, but I shot her a note giving her a heads up that I hadn't showered yet and was in a hoodie and striped yoga pants. She said "cool, get over here" and so that's what I did!
But again, it didn't matter that I was looking pretty bummy. I high-tailed my tuchas over there, did the damn thing, and had a real good time doing it! (Also, plug for Lori's podcast, you should totally listen to it!)
I'm a firm believer that the only things that really matter in life are people.
And it's hard to find the good ones, but when you do, oh baby, keep them close! Finding people who will show up for you and with you is so much of the battle.
Our connections are based on the relationships we build with our hearts and our minds. Because relationships aren't built on looks. They're built on heart. This is true, not just of my team, but of my closest friends, family, colleagues, and confidants. I know that it doesn't matter that I showed up having just rolled out of bed with a baggy sweatshirt on at 6:30am to help my friend who just had her third baby take the other two to daycare because she couldn't drive yet. I was there.
My sister and sister-in-law spent their first Valentine's Day together helping me move out of an unhealthy living situation in sweats and baseball caps, with love in their hearts and lattes in their hands. And I wouldn't have traded it for the world because they showed up and this is one of my favorite photos of all time.
When is all is said and done, no one is going to be lying on their deathbed wishing they had more friends that they could have impressed with their Chanel purse or their $200 facial toner. They're going to wish they had spent more time on relationships that mattered.
So, I ask you, who's in your tribe? Are they worthwhile of your time? Do they bring their heart and their head and show up?
If they don't, then you might want to start hiring a new tribe.
Kiley Executive Coach & Consultant
Kiley Peters is a serial entrepreneur, national speaker, executive coach, and small business consultant. Having personally counseled over 100 small and medium-sized businesses on operations, business development, digital marketing, and consumer behavior analysis over the last 17 years Kiley is incredibly passionate about serving small business owners. She is the Founder and CEO of Brainchild Studios, a research and business strategy partner for small businesses and mid-market executives, and also created the Work From Home Playbook, a series of online courses guiding aspiring entrepreneurs through the steps of starting a virtual business. With these experiences in her back pocket, she understands the challenges and struggles small business owners encounter.more posts by Kiley →